When you seek to understand people before seeking to be understood you can set people free from your judgments and enjoy healthy relationships.

I love the Lord, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live. Psalm 116:1-2

There is a powerful relational truth in this passage when we feel heard and believe that people care about us, we will trust them. If you want people, especially your spouse, to trust you, learn to listen. Listen with genuine empathy and interest to understand. Then seek to be understood.

We cause so much pain through our judgments of one another. We have different behavior patterns and do things for different reasons, when we understand our own patterns and give people freedom to be themselves, we create less pain for ourselves and others. Once we know ourselves, we are positioned to let others be free. We’ll also be in a better position to confront destructive patterns in others if necessary. In this series, I briefly discuss the DiSC behavioral profile and help you know how to implement this liberating knowledge into your relationships.

When we hold people’s sins against them we create pain for ourselves. We must have healthy boundaries and remove people from our lives when necessary but love is patient, especially in marriage. Living a lifestyle of not keeping a record of wrongs against each other makes for peaceful relationships. God is not holding our sins against us, we shouldn’t hold each other against each other either.