““Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
To Jesus, judgment is when you “look at the speck of sawdust in another person’s eye.” He says, STOP IT! Don’t do that! When you look at the speck, you no longer see that person, you only see the speck. The speck is whatever issue or behavior you are judging about that person.
His remedy is to remove the plank in your eye so you can see clearly to help them remove the speck from their sight. The plank in your eye is your judgment of that person. Your opinion is clouding you from seeing the person apart from the speck, and you only see the problem. Remove your opinion, and you will see clearly to help them.
Notice he doesn’t say to ignore the speck. Jesus wants you to address the speck if you see someone caught in a sin, you are to help restore them. But if you only see their problem, it will blind you from healthily helping them.
God is not holding our sins against us, and we should not hold people’s sins against them either. Love keeps no record of wrong. Does that mean they get away with it? No way, they’ll reap what they sow, but you’re not the judge, jury, and punisher.
Removing Your Spouses Speck
What if that speck is in your spouse’s eye? Be careful! Seriously, approach with care in your eyes rather than judgment. If your spouse has an issue you need to address, make sure your motive is love before you approach them. You can not trust your intentions if you are not motivated by love. They will not hear you if your motivation is to be right or show them where they’re wrong. Approaching your spouse from any other motive than love will shut them down.
Marriage is a blessing, remember that when you need to deal with an issue with your spouse. Remember that women want to be loved, and men want to be respected. Men, connect to your love for your wife before you deal with that problem. Women, communicate with your husband respectfully, not in a demeaning way when you address the issue.
Love seeks to restore, not be right!!
Marriage Is A Blessing
Seriously, marriage is a blessing. Someone commits to helping you for the rest of their life. That person makes you a priority in their own life, for the rest of their life. They commit to love you and be your partner in life, helping you through every single struggle and failure. What a blessing it is to have a partner for life!
Unfortunately, lots of folks don’t see a marriage that way. Marriage has become a negotiation, a chess match. Too often, husband and wife drift apart due to lack of communication. We’re pretty forgiving creatures if we’d talk to one another, talk in such a way that we find common ground, forgiveness, and restoration. Too often, our communication server to further validate our judgments, offenses, and hurts regarding our spouse.
I’m certainly not advocating putting up with infidelity or abuse; I’m talking about a couple that lacks the effort to work things out.
You can do this! You can have a healthy, thriving marriage. You can have the kind of marriage that is a testimony of God’s love for us. But one of you is going to have to go first.
It’s time to lay aside your judgment and love your spouse. It’s time to take the first step. Someone is going to have to go; first, it may as well be you.
LOVE GOES FIRST!! BE LOVE IN YOUR HOME!!
